My Friend

I have a very close and wonderful friend.
She has a child-like, playful and spontaneous nature, full of curiosity and enthusiasm.
She is genuinely sincere and innocently vulnerable, with an adamant excitement for Nature and a deep love of the Sea,
The brilliance of the noon day sun sparkles in her flowing hair and radiates through her beautiful eyes.
She is always calm and relaxed, with a soft, gentle, soothing hug and touch.
She freely and humbly accepts compliments with sincere gratitude and joy whenever they are offered.

With her, conversation is always introspective, contemplative, thoughtful and engaging. Always fascinating and educational, too.
She has a love of learning, a thirst for reading, and a deep appreciation for the arts. She encourages the free expression of opinion, always responding without judgement.

She listens with an open mind.
She loves with an open heart.
She is commited but not obsessed to live a healthy lifestyle.

When we are together, we are attentively focused on one another, supporting and encouraging one another in individual growth and learning.

She warms my heart by tenderly getting into my head.
She is the only “true friend” I have ever known.

Have you seen her?

It seems that I have lost her….

The Muse

I do not have a split personality.
But I do have a “voice” in my head.
It is a pleasant voice. A soothing voice. A voice that can lead me into trouble or into good, serious introspection. She is always there, looking over my shoulder, offering me opinion or advice.
I have never seen her… only images in my mind as to what she looks like and how she feels about things.

She is the one who encouraged me to seek outside advice about my marriage challenges that I was having at the time. She is the one who pointed out my new confidant and friend. She is the one who whispered that finding “true love” was the epitome of innocence and truth.
She introduced my heart, my soul, my life… to Hell.

She is my “Muse”.

I do not know her origins, exactly, but I do believe that in a previous life we were not only well acquainted, but were good friends. Why she does what she does… has done what she has done… is completely speculation.
I take her advice and suggestions now with a “grain of salt”.
She is not a bad person. She just seems to have a different agenda for life than I do.
But she is an awesome muse… a marvelous consultant… a thought-provoking challenge to listen to and have discussion with.

She is a great collaborator.

She is after all… a Muse. And a Muse can offer insightful information and direction… if we weigh it carefully.

The Perfect Companion

It’s been said that a person only finds true love once. I tend to believe that statement. Now I’m not saying “falls in love” only once. A person may fall in love many times. But an individual only finds “true love” once… if ever.
If we happen to be one of the lucky few who find true love, then what we do with that opportunity is our own choice. Some are in a position to act positively on that choice. Others are not.
I was not in a position to act positively on that opportunity.
I was already married.

Am I saying you should not get married until the “perfect person” comes along? No, of course not. Life does not work that way. For the most part, each one of us must work to become the perfect person in our companion’s life.
What I am saying is that once you have chosen someone to spend your lifetime with… STOP LOOKING!! I’m not being facetious in this comment. I’m very serious. The danger… and disappointment… is in finding the “perfect person” once you are already committed to someone else.

Relationships are a serious thing and should not be negotiated lightly. Elements of “trust” and “honor” enter in which must be addressed.
Finding a “perfect person” when you are already committed to another is nothing more than embarking on a journey down the road of Hell. There are no easy or acceptable alternatives.

Become the perfect person for your chosen companion. Avoid the “Perfect Hell” that happens if you do not.
I know what I’m talking about… because I am now traveling the road of the “Perfect Hell”.

A Simmering Brew

I know I have discussed this before.
According to psychological analysts, the willingness and ability to talk out a challenge helps to diffuse and solve the challenge.
Such does not seem to be the case, here.
According to the experts, it should only take about six weeks to emotionally overcome an ended relationship. Twelve weeks, at most.
It has been two years and four months. That’s one hundred and twenty months.

I still think of her every day.
I still see the light in her eyes, the radiance of her face, the beauty of her being.
I hear her voice in my head, calming and comforting my soul.
I feel her arms wrapped about me for encouragement, her lips pressed tenderly but firmly against my own for assurance.
The warmth of her body as we spoon in her bed rejuvenates my mind and enlivens my heart as we engage in deep and meaningful conversation.
Trying to hold on to and preserve two separate and distinct relationships… two mutually exclusive lives… was like trying to save a crumbling house of cards. I had to sacrifice what I’d always wanted for what was morally right.

I am left with the simmering brew of anger and regret. Angry with myself for causing the pain of others and regret that I had been selfish in the attempt.
I have not found peace in my soul for my choices.
I shall never be free.
I will always remember… and wonder… what might have been… if only.

Astral Projection

To the best of my knowledge, Astral Projection is the ability to transport one’s essence of being anyplace in the world at will. I also believe that advanced practitioners of astral projection can appear to others in “real time”.
I have had a basic capability to astral project myself since I was a teen. I don’t know how I learned this… but I did. It’s almost as if it were inherent in my genes. I have had greater difficulty accomplishing this as I’ve grown older… probably because I’ve had a more difficult time “concentrating” as the cares of the world have crept in upon me. But I also know the capability is still there, deep within my “youthful” mind.
I know that one can appear to another in their “travels”. I know this because recently one of my very best friends, one whom I have not seen or heard from for almost two years, appeared to me in my bedroom. I was fully awake at the time. It startled me so much that she left right away.
It can be done. It is possible. It takes a lot of practice and a lot of focused concentration. It is a unique and enjoyable experience!

Note: be careful who you appear to because when you travel the astral plane, you travel with only the “spirit” body… you travel naked.

The Essence of Being

I sense within me exactly what my challenges are. They just appear to elude my pen in being able to put them on paper into a tangible, confront able form. I get awfully close from time to time… but never quite right on the mark.
There are just certain feelings… sensations… internal truths… that are never quite definable in the three dimensional world. The existence of the fourth dimension in reference to emotions and desires is never quite quantifiable to the human mind. It exists mainly in the deepest and most precious regions of the love of the heart.
To know it… one must feel it. To understand it… one must receive it and treasure it in ones immortal soul.
It is a physical, ethereal evidence of the existence of Love, itself.
It is the essence of “Being”, manifested in the eternal “Now”.